Colon Cancer and Courage

3/26/17

It takes courage to stand in front of thousands and be the butt of your own jokes, particularly when the jokes are, literally, about your rear end.

But the tagline for author and professional speaker Brenda Elsagher says it all: She offers courageous conversations on humor, health and happiness.

 Elsagher has enjoyed two successful careers. In the first, she worked one-on-one with clients, cutting and coloring their hair. She loved her work and was passionate about teaching cancer patients to restyle their hair and apply makeup after they lost their eyelashes and brows.

Then, at age 39, a doctor discovered a golf ball-sized tumor in her rectum. The tumor had to go so she could live.

Told she needed to have a permanent colostomy, she thought, “That bag thing? I thought old men had that.” She learned that ”babies are born needing ostomies; old people have them; beautiful young men and women are walking around with ostomies” (skin-colored pouches in which what goes in comes out.)

Her treatment was arduous, involving more than her bowel. The Burnsville resident underwent a series of surgeries. Her recovery was so painful she could barely hold her toddlers.

Worried her son and daughter would require therapy because she didn’t hold them much, she wrote her first and most personal book, “If the Battle is Over Why Am I Still in Uniform?” and discovered both her talent for storytelling – and her second career. Four books followed, filled with stories of others who have shared her experiences.

She decided to tackle her bucket list. She lost a lot of weight. Silencing the voices that suggested she wasn’t smart enough, she enrolled in Metropolitan State University.

Today, speaking through the lens of both patient and survivor, she inspires thousands, especially health care professionals.

Bolstered by emerging science on the benefits of humor, she is constantly searching for funny moments and incorporating them into her motivational messages.

March is colon cancer awareness month. Though it ranks second in cancer deaths, an interesting phenomenon is occurring. Typically found in men and women over 50, colon cancer is on the decline in older adults but on the rise in younger people. The reason is unclear.

Minnesotans might spot Elsagher in PSAs making her pitch. She’s known as the funny lady who talks about bowels. She’s okay with that.

Incredulous when people avoid the diagnostic test because it’s unpleasant, she says, “Get a colonoscopy. Yes, it’s icky. But it is short-lived. And it could save your life. And, by the way, life can be icky, too, but we still have to go for it.”

Bowel disease exists on a continuum, manageable for some, debilitating for others. Some can manage it with medication. In extreme cases “it can feel like they are pooping out razor blades,” Elsagher says. The response is to stop eating to avoid the pain. Often the sufferers end up having the surgery they’re desperate to avoid.

Bladder cancer patients have their bladders removed and breast cancer patients have their breasts removed, she says. “Colon cancer patients can have their colons removed and discover the result is both life changing and life enhancing.”

Elsagher notes there’s been a change in the conversation about the disease and the treatment options since her diagnosis more than 20 years ago. “We’ve come a long way with our understanding and acceptance of colon cancer. No one used to talk about it. Now it’s a lunchtime conversation, though not yet a dinner conversation.”

Elsagher is undeterred by uncomfortable topics. Her book, “It’s In the Bag and Under the Covers” is a collection of stories about sex, intimacy, and caregiving, as told by people with ostomies and their caregivers.

Publishing the book required a candid conversation with her husband, though. A native of Egypt (where, she notes, women don’t speak publicly about shaving their legs), he grappled with sharing something so private. So they did a cost benefit analysis: Will this help others more than it will hurt us?

Feedback from readers and audience members, who thank her for addressing an awkward, but important, topic, has validated the decision to address what goes on under the covers.

Elsagher is not just funny; she’s grateful and reflective. She got to see her son grow up and marry and her daughter attend college. She’s still living with her husband in the same house, surrounded by friends and family, creating memories every day.

“Don’t wait for a crisis to tell the people in your life that you love them. Do it daily. Don’t be afraid to try new things. Don’t think you’re not smart enough or small enough. If you don’t try you will always wonder.”

As to the surgery, she says, “A bag didn’t stop anything. But I admit that having a rectum is very convenient. If you can still wipe your butt, appreciate it.”